Money can't buy love, but it can...

buy freedom....and freedom for me means alot more opportunity and possibility.

You know it's funny because I've always heard the question "what's keeping you up at night", however unless it's some type of ailment that physically prevented me from sleep, I always got mine...oh how I love sleep!!

However, unfortunately now the phrase means a little more to me than that.

With a pending divorce and being faced with the struggles of being at least a part-time single mom, there's alot of contemplation these days...and yes, it's the kind that wakes you up at night.

I think wow, I didn't want or see things turning out at such in my life, never expected twins...yada, yada, yada. But the time is here & it is what it is.

I know that there are always outside factors (not being Donald Trump being one of them) that can create financially instability in ones life or undesirable circumstances...but sucking it up, can be a hard lemon to swallow.

All the "what if's" in life can invade your space and create a world of stress and havoc if you allow it. Every unexpected cost or something that you can't afford being another cobweb you have to walk through and clean off your face.

Last night I dreamt I was being strangled & I couldn't breathe...I woke myself up pretty quickly on that one. I'm not one to read alot in my dreams (don't have the notebook by my bed or anything) but that's one that sort of sticks w/you, and I thought...wonder what the hell that one means?

Well the answer came yesterday evening when it has been determined that my oldest will stay w/his dad next year and I'll be coughing up the child support (money no where to be found) to be sending him....talk about a big sting, or two of them. I can add that to my "contemplation" list as well...as simply contemplating on how to deal.

So the moral of this story is...people in our society look down on people who put money before even love, but they may just not be aware of the freedom it brings with the allowance of more choice & being able to breathe...at least long enough to be able to find, appreciate & enjoy that thing called...love.